Thursday, September 30, 2010

Good Knight

Chivalry is hard to come by, but, surprisingly, not in New York City. Yesterday, a man on the subway noticed that I was uncomfortable holding the handle near the ceiling since I am so short, so he offered me his seat. I told him no, and that I was fine, but he insisted, so I took it even though I was only going one more stop. Today the guy who hands out newspapers at the top of the stairs at the 14th street subway exit told me I was beautiful, he also always thanks me for saying "no, thank you" instead of blasting past him like a jerk.

Of course, there are the people who have to stand with their bodies pressed against you as you wait in line to get on the train to Jersey, because obviously you're going to get their faster if your tits are pressed into my back and your umbrella is jabbing my side. Oh, and when you do that, I tend to walk a little slower than everyone else... Perhaps that's not chivalrous of me at all, but it's ok, I will get over it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Oh Mickey, You're so fine.

About a month ago, we had an incident in the office involving a rancid smell in the studio kitchen, and a dead mouse by my coworkers desk. We are infested.


Today, I walk into the studio get set up, put my jacket on my chair, get some water, etc...and then sit down. The head designer, in the mean time, had gotten out if his seat to get something from the printer, gasps and says "Courtney!" and points. I turn around and there is another mouse laying on the carpet. We didn't know if it was dead or alive so he starts throwing bouncy balls at it and it didn't move. So he goes into the other room grabs some plastic bags and goes in to pick it up, and the things starts inching along the floor. So naturally I turned a garbage can upside down and put it over it. Eventually my art director scooped him up and him outside, where we assume he will get eaten by a bird.

How did I not see a mouse by my chair when I came in???

On another note, I bought some delicious concord grapes from the farmers market. They are hands down the best grapes I have ever spent money on. Union Square FTW.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

like a rolling stone

Courtesy of Rolling Stone #1027.

Focus your bile: forty things to loathe more than Paris
Lets start with (1) people saying "the Internets." same for (2) "the Interwebs" and (3) "the Blogtubes." But not as much as people saying (4)"the last time I checked" or (5) "you do the math." I don't do math, you haven't checked, and you obviously didn't get the memo about (6) "you didn't get the memo." so get over (7) "get over it," especially if you're (8) Mel Gibson. Old guys not trimming their eyebrows (9) -- if Don Imus (10) owned tweezers, he'd still have a job. Cigarettes being illegal in bars, but not (11) onion rings, which smell up the place worse. How about (12) Sisqo not being famous anymore? I hate that. Speaking of the Bloggernetspheres (13), how much do we hate the first-person plural (14)? Wacky periods, as in: Biggest. Cliche. Ever. (15) Describing anything as "the anti-" something (16) Saying "at the end of the day" (17) No deleted scenes on the White Chicks DVD (18)

What else? (19) Bicycles! Do they go fast? Yes. Do they have any safe way of braking? No. Who invented these things? Why are our streets clogged with ten-speed deathtraps hurtling at pedestrians whose only crime is walking dogs on (20) those leashes that take up the whole sidewalk? The only person that should be on a bike is the dude from Yummy Taco (21) who's late with my chicken burrito. All three discs of Yessongs sucked (22-24) but still using (25) the prefix "alt" (26) the abbreviation "tude," (27) the verb "morph" or (28)the punch line "zing"? I just threw up in my mouth (29) !

[Ironically nonracist noun], please (30)! Quad City DJs not making a record lately. (31) That party train isn't going to ride itself, you know. Saying (32) "ATM machine" when the "m" already stands for "machine," like (33) "PIN number" or (34) "MLB baseball." Speaking of which (35) Roger Clemens and (36) the three Hall of Fame voters who cast their ballot for Dante Bichette. Project Runway bringing back (37) Nina Garcia. Dogs are worth repeating (38) "It is what it is." (39) That brings us to 40, so let's add (40) Paris joining Nicole for FOX's Born Innocent '07 Incarcerated Scarfaces . Come on, that would be cool.

Friday, September 24, 2010


i LOVE surprises. I love giving them, receiving them, unexpected ones.

We have a few doormen at work, the one that was there this morning is probably early fifties, and barely speaks any english. As I waited for the elevator ... SURPRISE his ringtone is Sean Kingston. Made me smile. Good Friday.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

an apology.

I'm reading a book called "Dirty Girls," and the author, who used to/or does (I can't remember) write for Maxim, talks about the secret life of girls that guys don't know about, ie not showering on the weekends, lack of shaving in the winter, and eating cereal for dinner. Every single word in that book I can relate to. There is a section about certain types of girls. The girl who needs to be in a relationship, and the perpetually single girl who get's "the dreads." The second one is me. I, like most girls, find myself wanting a relationship, I look for it, I hope for it, etc. Then when I find something good, or otherwise tolerable, the single girl inside starts to freak out. It's hard enough to keep track of one person (me), why would I want to try and add another into the mix.
Then once I realize that I don't want a relationship after all, I tend to drop off the face of the earth, for this I am sorry. k a dumb book for me to realize how big of a chump I am.

It's not you, it's me...really.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Apples and Oranges

I'm trying out this thing called The New York Diet. The key to it is working late, 2.5 meals a day, and walking everywhere. Occasionally it's required to stand by the water cooler and chat with coworkers.

I ordered new pants online, which is risky all in its self, but I also ordered them a size smaller. And they fit!

The New York Diet is my best friend.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Tiny Town, USA

How I love New York, let me count the ways.

This morning on my way to work (I've been walking to and from Penn Station, since the weather has been beautiful) I saw a group of people walking down 7th ave in white T's and tighty whiteys. There were probably 8 of them. I'm sure they were doing some promotion for something, I didn't have time to ask, but it made me smile. Then a block down there were a group of five guys dressed in suits and ties with sunglasses on solemnly telling people to go to an event which was on a postcard, that I didnt pick up. THEN further down, I saw a man dressed in a really fluffy pink dress, with striped stockings, high heels, a floral hat, and in the company of a poodle with rainbow fur... Of course the only thing this guy was promoting was women's clothing from the 80's, but this was probably the best morning walk of my life.

Everything is a production here. Go big or go home, in the Big Apple.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

20 questions

I forgot to mention in the post I did this morning about the guy whom I stood next to on the train today. He is the man who everyone hates in the morning because he talks on his phone the whole entire time. Then you are excited because you are nearing the tunnel and there's noway he can still get service underwater. EXCEPT he does because his cell phone service provider is probably Zeus. "FUCK" -- That's what I think to myself, because I woke up with the worst headache, and I'm stuck next to stupid chatty cathy. So then I start listening to his one-sided conversation, because the person on the other end certainly cannot get a word in edgewise. He is asking a million questions, such as:

"Where are you?"
"What have you eaten today?"
"DId you get lunch?"
"Are you going to the parking ramp?"
"Are you by your car yet?"
"You're driving?"
"So do you like the street your on?"
...... (zone out).....
"So you think it's funny now? A second ago it wasn't funny."
......(zone out).....
"That's quite an accomplishment, I think. You don't"
"Oh now you do? You didn't a second ago, thats very non committal of you"
"You have to go?"
"Where are you going?"

The girl who was a across from him and myself making eyes, knowing what the other was thinking. I'm just thankful I will probably never see (hear) him again. KNOCK ON WOOD.

Midwest is for lovers

I went to the coffee shop across from work this morning to grab a breakfast sandwich and a coffee. When I was paying I handed the girl my card and she says "OHMIGOD" and I say "yeah it warped in the sun." (before I left for new york I left my wallet in my car, sitting in the sun, and all of my cards look like I set them on fire.) And she says "mid west!" Then I realize she is referring to the 5/3 logo on my card. She asks where I'm from and I tell her Michigan, and she says "Me too!! Royal Oak!" How weird. I told her to go home for the holidays, her family wants to see her, waved and left. I hope she goes home, she looked like she missed the mitten state.

Monday, September 13, 2010

halloween preview?

This is what you see when you search "orange clove" on shutter stock. It's terrifying. What I want to know is who would actually use this is real life?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Over & Over & Over ( it )

I am finishing my third coffee of the day. My stomach hurts. One I had at home while getting ready for the day, even though my alarm didn't go off and I woke up late. The other two from starbucks (pumpkin spice lattes, YES.) The first time I went there to get one they thought I was an employee there and gave me 50% off instead of the usual 20%. score. I win, fridays are good. I thought I would try and be sneaky and go for round two, but the cashier saw right through me. Aw, rats.

This much coffee is too painful and my body hates me right now. I will never let this happen again.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

A dude.

You would be surprised to learn (because I was shocked) that 98% of people who give me compliments on my tattoo are middle-aged women. YES, WEIRD. Yesterday it was refreshing to hear something nice from someone MY age. I had actually seen this guy at "71" a coffee shop a few blocks from work, and then we left around the same time and walked the exact same way towards union square. I had just passed him when he told the person he was talking to on the phone "hold on" and then taps me on the shoulder and says "THAT is the best tattoo I have ever seen, Im a mathematician, I can appreciate that." I thanked him, blushed a little and turned to go into inside, when he picks up the rest of his phone conversation by telling the person on the other line that he had just seen the coolest tattoo and that it was better than theirs (the person on the other end). It made me laugh.

I like when people recognize it, I feel like it's some sort of exclusive club, and I also like when people don't know what it is and i can sound cool explaining it to them.

Also, it's september now, the cool weather can come anytime now......