Happy Valentine's Day!
I used to hate today, so much in fact that I insisted on giving sympathy cards out instead of mushy love cards. Then I had an epiphany. This is the only day that I can tell people how much I love myself without sounding like a complete asshole. Or I might sound like an asshole, but I don't really care because I'm entitled on February 14th, plus I can shower myself in chocolate.
I was supposed to go on a second date tonight, but decided it was too much pressure and would infringe on my star wars tradition, which by the way was borrowed from a friend of a friend, so i can't take all of the credit for such a great idea.